courageous, me?

I think it takes a lot of courage for me to get up every day, considering the fact that I have a fucking masters degree and I work at starbucks for like $12 an hour, and yes that includes tips. How fucking ironic am I? I lead this often banal 'office space' life and I thought that was what I wanted, but then I grew up. So basically I live like the stars of my favorite 90's movie. You know the one with Wynona Ryder and Ethan Hawke and they go to college and hate everything... what was that called... ah yes REALITY BITES. They were right it really does. I used to pray to 'make it' at starbucks so I could be a store manager and use my education skills on my vacation time or something, but fuck that. I need a real job with a desk and an office door. I know, I know, WAH! stop whining. What would be courageous is living life real... What does that mean? I think it means saying what the fuck ever I want to say and doing what the fuck I want to do. Like saying fuck for example. Why cant I say it by my grandmother. Why cant I say it to kids. Why cant I say it at work, like 'fuck yes, your latte is decaf (that is what you ordered right?)' I think it takes courage to break out of what is easy and normal and do something that noone expects, take a leap. Walk out on your job or your boyfriend when they no longer plese you. Go live on an island all alone with your gun for a few months. Buy matching sweaters for you and your dogs and walk proud in the dog park. Courage is being yourself and not caring what anyone thinks. or maybe it isnt.