seriously though...

It's unfortunate that this blog forum is not taking off like I expected it would. Two of the four posters have internet service at their jobs, but not at home, and the other two stopped smoking weed this week. Of course we smoked last night, but that's only because I feared I would have a major panic attack. Birdman and I were all set up to play Monopoly, and I've been busy trying to lead my life like Jesus would (refer to Stonerchronic.blogspot.com for explination), and things got out of hand when Birdman got cheeky with me about the distribution of Monopoly money. Like, I prefer to put 500 dollars in the "Free Parking" pot, and his family only put $200 dollars in there. When we played with Ryonce at the cabin, he put $2000 dollars in the middle, and I think that says more about our lives than I could even begin to explain right now. But anyway, an argument arose, and I had to leave the room before I threw the board, because throwing the Monopoly board is certainly not a Jesus-like thing to do.

I don't know where the fuck Jesticle is, but it's time for her to introduce herself to the board!

uh hullo?

Is this thing on... where is everyone?

question: how many times is too many times, take that however you want

how many times is too many times
to fuck up
and not write
and only smoke
and forget your friends party
because she isnt going to have

weed

there.

I want to be a rapper, but I dont exactly flo futuristic so I'll settle for being a comedian, even a stand up comedian. And we all know how difficult it is for the really good ones to live past the point at which they become famous. Why is that? I think it is because 'normal' people are not comedians when they 'make it' in their lives, they are bus drivers or teachers or doctors. People with no father or fucked up childhoods or who noone liked in highschool... now these people become famous comedians. They become famous by telling everyone their secrets and then they cant handle being so open and out there so they beging to go mad or use drugs heavily. That is why I became a counselor, so I can reel myself and my friends back in before doom takes us down. any questions?

THE BEST MAD LIB EVER MADE.

For SALE: This queer car is in furious condition. It was formerly owned by a systematic schoolteacher who always drove it stupidly. There is a loquacious Sausage Man in the back seat and a chrome Chyna on the hood. It has an arrogant paint job, luscious tires, and the back opens out into a plasmic pinata. Will consider taking slightly used witchdoctor in trade.

LOST: In the vicinity of the Galapagos Islands, an erroneous French poodle with retarded hair and a facetious tail. It answers to the name of BABY BISON, and when last seen was carrying a shingle it its mouth. A bombastic reward is offered.

A stoner favorite, Mad Libs could definitely kick Scattergories ass in a game fight. If you are also a fan, feel free to put up your favorite Mad Lib. This one above is 100% legitimately improvisational, and we are very proud of it. (Especially because I get to be a poodle with a shingle).

courageous, me?

I think it takes a lot of courage for me to get up every day, considering the fact that I have a fucking masters degree and I work at starbucks for like $12 an hour, and yes that includes tips. How fucking ironic am I? I lead this often banal 'office space' life and I thought that was what I wanted, but then I grew up. So basically I live like the stars of my favorite 90's movie. You know the one with Wynona Ryder and Ethan Hawke and they go to college and hate everything... what was that called... ah yes REALITY BITES. They were right it really does. I used to pray to 'make it' at starbucks so I could be a store manager and use my education skills on my vacation time or something, but fuck that. I need a real job with a desk and an office door. I know, I know, WAH! stop whining. What would be courageous is living life real... What does that mean? I think it means saying what the fuck ever I want to say and doing what the fuck I want to do. Like saying fuck for example. Why cant I say it by my grandmother. Why cant I say it to kids. Why cant I say it at work, like 'fuck yes, your latte is decaf (that is what you ordered right?)' I think it takes courage to break out of what is easy and normal and do something that noone expects, take a leap. Walk out on your job or your boyfriend when they no longer plese you. Go live on an island all alone with your gun for a few months. Buy matching sweaters for you and your dogs and walk proud in the dog park. Courage is being yourself and not caring what anyone thinks. or maybe it isnt.

A story about Courage

Please write an essay about the courage you show every day. I'll start with mine:

Everyday I am blessed that I don't smack the shit out of people that I hate. For me, that takes courage. Not ramming my fist in their general middle region, and sodomizing them with my left hand nuckle is something very real and true, and isn't that what courage is all about? When I got escorted out of the library last week by community college security guards for yelling at a librarian who asked me (quite rudely, may I add!) to get off of my cell phone, that was courage, in a way. But I think real courage should not come at the cost of your voting rights. Afterall, if you become a felon, you'll never get a job. It's not as bad as being a child molester, but not much better than being a truck driver. You all want your chili hot. Last year I convinced myself that I had AIDS, and then gained 80lbs. pondering it. A couple of weeks ago, I got my negative test results back and I felt like a real tool. That was the same week I spent 900 dollars on Ryonce. But I'm getting thinner now, and that's what's important.